My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
