you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
