I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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