My liver just broke up with me...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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