i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I did not marry a roomba.
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