You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
