i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
