but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
