it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
