This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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