Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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