K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I checked into jail on foursquare
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
