R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
