I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
