What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
