just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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