Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
