Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
