I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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