We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
