Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You ate ashes out of my bong
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
