Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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