I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
