Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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