just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
