Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
