omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
