i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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