seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
