if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
