so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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