I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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