who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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