so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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