It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
