or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
