I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
