speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
