i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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