dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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