so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
