I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
