she smelled like a LAN party
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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