I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
