And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
