You're completely useless in the revolution.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
