There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Your dad touched me again.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
