I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
