Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
