Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
