I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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